Trials of the Fox
by sakurademonalchemist
Summary: Kushina is back with a vengeance! Now that her mission for Shinigami-sama is over, Konoha is about to be turned on it's head! Will she unleash the wrath of the Fox on the citizens who mistreated her son? And what will happen when her students start dating their fellow nin? Sequel to Troubles in Time. Minato/Kushina with multiple pairings you never see coming. Fem Harry!
1. Chapter 1

It all started like any other day. Kotetsu and Izumo were doing gate duty...when four people and a pig arrived. Two blonds, a raven haired girl and a red head. One blond was very familiar, because she was the Sannin Tsunade. The raven haired girl was her apprentice Shizune. But it was the red head and other blond that had them staring.

"Holy crap...is that?" said Kotetsu.

"...I think it is...but aren't they dead?" said Izumo also gaping.

The fourth Hokage and his jounin girlfriend, who died twelve years ago during the Kyuubi attack, were walking into the gate with Tsunade. Both of them looking like they hadn't aged a day!

"But...you died! Both of you did!"

"Yeah...but remember when some idiots from Iwa tried to dig up his corpse? There wasn't anything in there, and the Civilian council raised one hell of a stink," said Izumo.

"...Come to think of it her body was never recovered either," said Kotetsu.

Kushina waited patiently before she spoke.

"So, since you two are clearly smart enough to figure something big is on, how about I ask one question? What's your opinion of Uzumaki Naruto?"

"The blond fox kid? He's a good brat, and his pranks are funny as hell," said Kotetsu. He couldn't help but feel like this was a test, one that he better get right or else.

"Yeah, he's always good for a laugh," said Izumo.

Kushina beamed at them both, handing them slips of paper with what appeared to be paws on them.

"What are these for?" asked Izumo.

"Trust me, you'll be glad to have them by tomorrow. I assume you know of how my _son_ is treated around the village?"

The two sputtered. They didn't know he was _her_ son! No wonder he liked pranks so much.

"What are they for though?" asked Kotetsu.

"Let's just say that those with the paws don't get the claws. If I were you I'd ask for time off though..." she said with an evil grin.

The two shuddered and made a note to avoid her tomorrow.

* * *

Sarutobi actually _weeped_ when he saw Minato.

"Thank the kami's you came...!" he said.

"Afraid I would back out and leave you with the paperwork?" grinned Minato.

"Among others. Now how are we going to play this?" asked Sarutobi.

"Easily enough. I want one week to cause as much chaos in the village with no ANBU chasing me for the mental trauma. Tsunade will take over the hospital to insure I don't accidentally kill someone," said Kushina.

"I get it. Cause enough chaos and no one will question his reappearance. I like it. But what about Naruto?"

"Mind if I abduct him in your name? I can't wait to actually see his face!" she said.

"Go ahead. Ichiraku's hasn't moved, and it's his favorite place."

Kushina cackled, and put on her ANBU mask. She was out the window and to the Academy without saying a word in edgewise.

* * *

Iruka looked up when he heard the knock.

"Yes, ANBU-san?" he asked. It couldn't be good for an ANBU to be here.

"The Hokage wants to see Uzumaki-san."

"Can it wait until after class?" asked Iruka. This was unusual...unless Naruto played a big prank again.

"Come on Iruka-sensei, it's only history!" complained Naruto.

"Naruto, if you've played another big prank..." he warned.

Naruto smirked. But he was curious as to why the ANBU was there...since he didn't know they had a fox one. He grabbed his things and was out the door with the ANBU.

And found himself at Ichiraku's.

"Uzumaki, I've heard your a veritable black hole when it comes to ramen..."

"Yeah, so?"

"I challenge you to a ramen eating contest. A certain toad sage has agreed to foot the bill."

"Woohoo! FREE RAMEN!" yelled Naruto.

Two hours later, people were staring at the large stacks of ramen bowls. Naruto was beyond surprised to find out that the Fox ANBU could keep up with him. When he was finally full, the woman kept going for two more bowls before giving up.

"The winner is the ANBU over here," said Teuchi in surprise. No one beat Naruto at eating ramen.

"Ah, that hit the spot! Been far too long since I had your Ramen old man!" said the woman with a chirp.

Teuchi frowned. He recognized that voice.

"Lady who the hell are ya? You aren't like those stuck up ANBU at all!" said Naruto.

"You really want to know? How about we make a bet."

"You're on lady!"

"If I can get you to become speechless for a good five minutes, then you can't prank anyone for a week. You win, I'll treat you to another contest. I win, and you can't prank. Deal?"

"Deal! So who are you?"

Kushina was grinning widely under her mask...and as she revealed who was under it Naruto's eyes went so wide it was a miracle they didn't pop out entirely.

"Miss me squirt?" she asked.

Naruto didn't say a word. He just tackled her off the stool. The moment he didn't go through her he knew she was really there. Once his tears were finally dried up, he looked at her.

"I'm finally back, Naruto. And I plan to stay!" she grinned.

"It can't be, Kushina?!" said Teuchi.

"The same. I ended up getting dragged halfway cross the world...and then had to make a deal with Shinigami-sama just to get home. It took me six years to do it, but it was worth it just to see my son again," she said with a grin.

* * *

"Hokage-sama, why did you want to see Naruto?" asked Iruka once class was over.

Sarutobi looked up from his paperwork with amusement. Looks like Kushina had already picked up Naruto.

"_I_ didn't ask for him. His _mother_ did," Sarutobi said with amusement.

"Hokage-sama, I thought Naruto was an orphan?"

"His mother and father recently returned from a classified mission. It was easier to let people assume they were dead until they could return. Knowing Kushina, she probably took him out to Ichiraku's."

"Sir, how do we know that they're his parents?"

"Perhaps you should meet them at their house. They'll be there in an hour. From what I heard, Kushina has some plans to get payback for all the crap the village has put her son through in their absence."

Iruka paled. Somehow he knew this would end badly for those who hurt Naruto.

* * *

Kushina left her son with Minato, who had Naruto in complete awe that his dad was the Fourth. It didn't take long for his father to start showing him some real taijutsu, and helping Naruto practice.

Kushina went to every store, marking the ones that didn't try to overcharge or worse, throw him out without even looking at him in the eye. She was henged as her son the whole time.

It was rather sad that out of Konoha, only the brothels, a few bars and a select few food vendors didn't hate him on sight. Even worse, barely a handful of weapons stores allowed him to buy practice weapons at their proper price. As a result of her little experiment, she was dismayed by the sea of white in the village. Not that anyone really noticed the slips.

Though she was happy to find out that most of the ninja clans were at least neutral to Naruto. Particularly the Aburame clan, who knew what it was like to have something in you that everyone hated you for.

Every so often she would come across someone who not only knew of her son, but didn't hate him on sight. To them she handed over little seals with fox paws on them. Among those who got a fox seal was a newly made jounin named Kuranai, most of the ANBU, almost the entire T and I division (which wasn't that surprising since Naruto liked to come and visit his Aunt Anko, and he was such a little sweetheart. The sounds of torture didn't bother him one bit!), and occasionally stores that were run by outsiders who came _after_ the Kyuubi attack.

Kushina was of the mind to put the fear of the fox into the village, and show them what idiots they had been.

* * *

Iruka was staring in disbelief when he saw what house he was sent to. He could see Naruto practicing with an older man whose hair was covered by the headband. Nearby was a young woman with pale blond hair and bright blue eyes. Those eyes were wide open, and he felt like they could see right through you.

"Well are you going to go in or what?" said a voice from behind him. He turned to find the woman from before, only this time the mask was on her side.

"Are you the ANBU who nabbed Naruto earlier?"

"Haven't been officially reinstated yet, but yes I am her. You must be Iruka."

She opened the blood sealed door with ease, which only proved that she either lived there or was keyed into the seal.

"It's good to know that my blood seal was still working even after all this time," she commented.

Iruka sputtered.

"You made that seal?!" he asked in surprise. It was the most complicated one he had ever seen!

She gave him an amused look.

"The Uzumaki clan has always been full of natural Seal Masters. As the Head of the clan, I should be at least as good to make something that simple," she said grinning.

She brought him into the kitchen, which had a clear view to the backyard. Iruka could see Naruto having a blast properly learning taijutsu under the older man's guidance.

Iruka drank the tea she handed him with grace.

"Why did you leave him alone? Why come back now?" he asked.

"We didn't leave him by choice. We were supposed to die the day he was born, but something intervened at the last second. I was grabbed by someone performing an odd ritual seal that dragged me halfway cross the world. My husband was brought back from the dead as a newborn infant to act as my back up by Shinigami-sama. All in exchange for retrieving three items that shouldn't have existed in the first place," said Kushina.

Iruka nearly choked on his tea.

"Shinigami-sama personally had you do a mission for him? Why not do it himself?"

"Normally he would have, but the part of the world I was in wasn't normally part of his jurisdiction. So he needed someone to act for him...since I was stuck there because of the ritual and an annoying old man, he asked me to do it in exchange for a ride home."

As she told Iruka the tale (since Sarutobi was told as it happened, and had kept a book with all she told him just to be sure he could remember it all) his eyes got bigger and wider. He almost didn't notice the fact that Naruto had come in for something to drink.

"Iruka-sensei! What are you doing here?"

"I invited him in," said Kushina, drinking another cup of tea.

"Iruka-sensei is awesome!" said Naruto with conviction.

Kushina laughed, and messed up his hair.

"I'm sure he is, if you like him so much. Tell you what, why don't you and Minnie start moving your things here while I go shopping for supper. You can bring your friend Sasuke too," she said with a grin.

"You aren't going to make something as dangerous as Uncle Sirius did are you? The old man banned him from cooking his specialty ever again."

"Oh, I have to hear about this! You'll have to tell me over dinner, okay? I'm making spaghetti."

And like that, a thought hit her.

"Minnie, go find that scarecrow you used to teach and bring his ass over here! I haven't been able to find his annoying ass!" yelled Kushina.

"What kind of parent names their son Minnie?" asked Iruka.

"It's Kaa-san's nickname for dad. The old man said it was easier than letting me know who he was until he came back."

"Why would he say a thing like that?" asked Iruka, curious.

Naruto decided to answer that question with one of his own.

"Let me put it this way... Did you ever wonder why the old man had all the official pictures of the Fourth destroyed?"

"Actually, yes, but that doesn't answer my question," said Iruka.

"...Perhaps it would be a better idea to stop by the Nara clan, last I heard Shikamaru's dad had a good picture of the Fourth after he was elected Hokage..."

Iruka was utterly confused at this point, but he actually fainted later. Naruto took that time to get some blackmail on the man, because this was honestly the first time he ever saw his favorite teacher faint from shock and not the Sexy Jutsu. Shikamaru found the whole thing amusing, but asked for his own copies.

* * *

Minato took great pleasure tormenting Kakashi. I mean seriously, who wouldn't after learning their only surviving student became a notorious pervert?

Kakashi kept using his Sharingan to assure himself that it was actually his sensei and not some sort of genjutsu...or Naruto using a henge, which defied even _his_ copying skills for some odd reason.

"How?" he finally asked.

"Kushina was dragged halfway cross the world by some meddling old geezer, and Shinigami-sama decided I would be the perfect back up since I was already stuck with him. In exchange for helping her complete the mission, we got to come home with living bodies. He actually let us take pictures of the look on Jiraiya's face when he realized I was still alive...and Sarutobi's when I finally told him how to kill the evil paperwork."

"...Do you have copies?" Kakashi asked hopefully.

Minato reached into his coat and held out one, and Kakashi grabbed it without thinking. He was soon laughing his ass off at the expression...before he realized that the picture was moving.

"What the hell?"

"The place Kushina was dragged to? It was full of Madoushi. One of their favorite tricks is a jutsu that allows pictures to move on their own," said Minato with amusement.

Seeing the incredulous look on his face, Minato took great pleasure giving Kakashi pink hair. Hearing the shriek the man gave off once he realized what his sensei had done had been particularly satisfying.

"Coincidentally Kushina wants you over for dinner. Something about insuring you don't accidentally get caught up in her little scheme..."

"Dear kami...what scheme?"

"The one to raise absolute hell for the way the civilians treated our son...and get me back in my position as Hokage with minimal fuss. From what she has said about her plans, we're going to need a new civilian council."

Kakashi said nothing, but you could feel the grin behind the mask.


	2. Chapter 2

Danzo and the other two councilors were a tad annoyed about the fact they had been called in by the Hokage. And he was being so frustratingly vague about the reason!

It wasn't until the entire council had been summoned and settled down that he found the cause of the meeting. And he was very pale indeed when he saw that familiar head of red hair.

Kushina Uzumaki was alive...and she was very pissed off.

"Hokage-sama, why did you call us here?" asked Shikaku. He had a good idea, but it was best to get it out now.

"Oh, I didn't call you all here. _She_ did. I was merely the means to insure the right people came."

Kushina came out of the shadows, and she wasn't happy. More than one of the shinobi there gasped in shock.

"Yes I am back...and I have to say I am disappointed by how far this village has fallen. What possible excuse do you people have for trying to kill a child?" she said coldly.

"He's the bloody fox!" said one of the civilians.

"You're a fucking idiot. Show of hands, which among you know about the Kyuubi but think Naruto Uzumaki is it's _jailor_, not the fox itself?"

It didn't surprise her in the least that mostly shinobi raised their hands. Some more reluctantly than others.

"And which of you are idiotic enough to believe Naruto _is_ the fox itself?"

Over half the room raised their hands. Sarutobi coughed, amused. They had no idea what they were setting themselves up for.

"Right, those of you who have enough damn sense to see past the seal are safe. Those of you stupid enough to think ostracizing a child for something he had no control over... I hope you don't have plans to leave the hospital any time soon," she growled.

"And why's that?" said Haruno haughtily.

"Because what you _IDIOTS_ don't know is that Naruto isn't the only Jinchuriki of the fox. Hell, he doesn't even hold the entire thing in him!"

That shut them up and made them really look at her. Her hair was doing the infamous nine way split, and even the civilians could see the fox behind her. If not feel the KI she was directing at them.

"Those of you who see Naruto as the jailor and not the prisoner, I would recommend leaving now. Otherwise I might get you by accident..." said Kushina.

Considering the amount of KI she was letting off, those who never treated Naruto like crap quickly fled.

* * *

Tsume winced at the scream of pain she heard.

"Dear kami, I thought she was killed by the fox!" she said.

"She would have, had someone on the other side of the world not summoned her specifically. Shinigami-sama decided he would make the best of a bad situation and had her retrieve something for him in exchange for a ride home...and the return of her husband."

"Next you'll be telling us the Fourth is coming back," said Chouza jokingly.

"..."

"No freaking way. He's alive too?!" said Inoichi.

"He was her back up. Part of the deal she made was for his release, so Shinigami-sama turned him into her back up. From what I know he's gained a new set of parents and a twin sister as a result. I believe some of you are familiar with the Lovegood clan?"

"So how are you going to deal with this? People will have difficulty handling the fact that the Fourth is back, and some might try to kill Naruto," said Tsume.

"Me? I'm not going to do a damn thing. Kushina is going to give the civilians a swift kick in the ass for all the hell they gave her son in their absence. In the chaos Minato is going to return to his position," said Sarutobi with conviction.

"And what of the Civilian council? You know they won't take this lying down," said Shibi.

Sarutobi nodded to the door.

"You really think Kushina is going to let them have a say in what happens once her husband gets his old post back? Why do you think I called this meeting in the first place?"

They all winced.

"Judging by how pissed she was, I think we're going to need a new council," said Shikaku.

"This time Haruno won't be around to kill our hearing," muttered Tsume.

"On another note, Tsunade has agreed to return if only to keep Kushina's victims from being killed off. In exchange Minato had granted her free reign over how the hospital is handled, so it should be upgraded within a few months," he said cheerfully.

When the noises stopped, they cautiously opened the door. More than one of them had to rush to the nearest toilet to lose their lunch. Kushina had done everything but rip their bones out.

Sarutobi, however, was more concerned by the things he saw under Danzo's bandages. The man would be in T and I before the hour was up, and they were not happy to learn that he had kept the ROOT program up.

It would be months before the paperwork for that mess was sorted out. Sarutobi could be heard cackling while with his grandson _"I'M FREE! THANK KAMI-SAMA AND SHINIGAMI-SAMA, I'M FREE FROM THAT HELL!"_ every time it was mentioned around him.

To be fair, most Kage would have been drowned by the paperwork from that mess. Minato was not most Kage, and his wife occasionally helped him out.

Every person there, if they weren't in the T and I headquarters, were in the hospital for an entire month after Kushina was through with them.

Sadly, she was only getting started. Many of the clan heads wisely stayed inside their own compounds with the doors locked shut...and if they were lucky a single seal with a large fox paw print on the outside walls. Having those on the wall kept the shadow clone army Kushina let loose from bothering them during her rampage.

* * *

Kushina surveyed the chaos below with distaste. The ANBU and anyone over genin level had been warned not to interfere with the revenge she had in mind. Kyuubi seemed to be enjoying itself, since this was the only time Kushina actually let him screw with the villager's heads.

He kept flaring his KI whenever someone happened to annoy him, and their reaction amused him greatly.

It was when she went into the Academy that things really turned interesting.

Mizuki was sweating, big time. The fox brat's mother had come back, and she was pissed as hell. Unfortunately for him, the only teacher the kid even liked in the Academy was Iruka. Which meant the rest of them were screwed.

"So...You're Mizuki. You have three seconds to tell me why I shouldn't humiliate you like everyone else," said the clone.

"Because I happen to be partnered with Iruka?" he said hopefully.

"Not good enough. Naruto has mentioned how harsh you were during grading his tests. Care to explain?"

"Why should I care what that fox brat thinks anyway? You're just going to kill me no matter what I say!" said Mizuki.

"Kill? Oh no, we aren't going to kill you. We brought Tsunade back to make sure we don't kill anyone," said one clone.

"Humiliate you, on the other hand..." said the other.

Mizuki was found later strung up by his balls and wearing a frilly pink dress.

Several vendors found themselves facing something they had never considered when they threw the fox container out.

Naruto's very angry mother...complete with half of the same fox they were hurting Naruto over. More than a few were beaten black and blue.

Though the same couldn't be said of the Ichiraku ramen stand.

* * *

"It's like you never left!" laughed Teuchi. He didn't mind the utter carnage Kushina was bringing to the village, because he had been one of the few who had given Naruto a place to hide during the mobs every October tenth. Hell, he had been the one to take him in for a bit after he was thrown out of the orphanage at five years old!

Kushina had left the Hokage monument to enjoy some proper ramen.

She drank the broth with obvious pleasure.

"Those cooks at that school I was stuck in were good, but their ramen really needed work!" she said grinning.

"You were in a school?"

"Got a genin team to train and everything. Got those kids up to Chunin level by the time I left," said Kushina with a grin.

"Oh ho! So where are they now?"

Kushina felt a slight flare of KI and turned around.

"'Mione, Draco, get your bums over here! I'm buying!" she yelled.

Draco and Hermione arrived, looking rather faint.

"Are you aware that there is a veritable sea of you running around causing damage?" asked Draco.

"Shadow clones. If they can't solve your problem, then you aren't using enough," said Kushina with a grin.

Hermione ordered some beef ramen, and was surprised at the taste.

"This is better than the one we had at that Death Day feast," she said in surprise.

"Naturally! Old Teuchi here is a better chef!"

"So what brought on the clone army?" asked Draco.

"I'm causing enough chaos so Minato can retake his position with minimum fuss. He mentioned something about not giving me a chance to stew over what the civilians did to my son..." grumbled Kushina.

The two shared a look of amusement.

"Speaking of spouses, have you two found anyone interesting?" she asked.

"I've meet someone interesting. His name is Iruka I think," said Hermione.

Kushina stared at her before she burst out laughing.

"Iruka? Brown eyes, scar on his face that goes across his nose, teaches at the Academy? That Iruka?" she asked.

Hermione huffed.

"I'll have you know he's a nice man. Those Naras are just too lazy for my tastes," said Hermione.

"Oh, I don't doubt that! It's just Iruka is the only teacher at the Academy who is safe from my wrath at the moment!" cackled Kushina.

Hermione beamed at her. Iruka was nice, intelligent and kind. Hearing that he got along with Kushina's son just made him more interesting. Plus he loved books as much as she did.

"What about you Draco?"

"Give me some time. So far the only person my age is Anko, and she's already taken by my cousin," complained Draco.

"True. Too bad she doesn't have a sister," said Kushina.

"Maybe I'll join someone heading to the Chunin exams next month and find someone there."

"Where is it at?"

"I think they said it was going to be in Cloud," said Draco.

"...Be careful, from what I heard there was an incident with the Hyuuga clan and Cloud a few years back. Not to mention they were dumb enough to try and kidnap me..."

"Who the hell is stupid enough to kidnap you?! You're the most terrifying woman I know!" said Draco incredulous.

"Partly because of my clan, but mostly because of the fox. Anyway that was the time I found Minato. I had been leaving pieces of my hair all over our trial, and he was the one who came and rescued me!"

Hermione sighed, because it sounded so romantic.

"So of course I fell for him, since he followed the trail I left. You could say this hair is like our red string of fate!" finished Kushina with a sigh.

"How lucky!" said Hermione, studiously ignoring the chaos around her.

Kushina winked at her.

"Want me to give Iruka tips on how to be a romantic for you?"

"Yes please!"

"And in exchange you get to join me for the next month. I'll teach you Yoga if you can keep up," said Kushina. If she was going down, she was taking someone else with her and damn the consequences. Draco, sadly, had seen the henge and had enough sense to ask why Minato had allowed his wife to wreak havoc on the village. Finding out that she would be stuck dealing with the most annoying morning person _alive_ was definitely punishment enough.

Kushina loathed mornings and threw poisoned kunai at people who were too chipper before her morning coffee. If they were hung over, she took vindictive pleasure in cooking food that was sure to make the idiot start worshiping the porcelain hangover gods. This usually was reserved for anyone who went out drinking with her husband and Jiraiya.

* * *

Kushina was about to start the next sector when she heard a pained cry. She paused, and climbed over the wall. And what she saw made her see red...Kyuubi red.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?! Hitomi would be ashamed of you Hiashi!" yelled Kushina.

Hiashi was beating up his oldest daughter while the other Hyuuga just stood there and watched. The Branch members at least looked upset about it, but couldn't voice their opinion unless they wanted the seal activated.

Hiashi looked up, saw that familiar head of crimson red hair, and winced. Kushina had been particularly close to his late wife. He had thought she had moved on already to the next part of town.

"Hiashi, you better have a damn good explanation for why your daughter looks like she's half dead from abuse," growled Kushina.

No sane man would go up against a pissed off mother. Especially when said mother had a demon inside her and actually _knew_ how to unleash it's fury on you.

"I was giving her personal training," he said stiffly.

Kushina growled. Her hair was already doing the infamous nine way split, which meant she was a hair's breath away from unleashing the fox on him and damn the consequences. Neji took position with his Jyuken. He didn't know who this woman was, but if she tried anything it would likely be his ass on the line.

"Personal training does not mean beating your own daughter half to death and giving her a broken arm. And you, brat, should drop the stance. Your dad wasn't the only one screwed over by Kumo," growled Kushina. Neji's look of surprise was enough for her.

"This doesn't concern you Kushina," said Hiashi stiffly. The mention of someone else who was nearly kidnapped by Kumo brought back bad memories of his brother. He was well aware of how Minato first fell for Kushina.

"It does when there are children getting beat up. You have two options Hiashi. Either let me take your daughter on as an apprentice...or deal with my clone army beating the hell out of the Main house."

Hiashi nodded faintly. Kushina didn't like to make idle threats.

"Deal."

Kushina gently picked up Hinata and took her to Tsunade, while Hiashi went to explain to Neji what Kushina had meant by that comment.

He would wake up the next morning in an apoplectic rage when he realized that Kushina's threat about her clones didn't mean squat when she had her son and her godfather prank the hell out of his estate. It took hours just to get the first layer of paint off!

* * *

"Tsunade, I got another patient for ya!" Kushina called out. She didn't want to yell, because it was a hospital.

"Kushina, what happened to this girl?" demanded Tsunade.

"Hiashi claims personal training, but I cry bullshit. Naru-chan and the kids are going to be sent later to hit 'em," said Kushina.

"You aren't going to do it yourself?"

"Hey, I told him _I _ wouldn't hit their compound if he gave me the girl as an apprentice. I never said I wouldn't send the kids over later," grinned Kushina.

"Always get it in writing," grinned Tsunade. The grin became more vicious as she documented the injuries.

"What's the diagnosis?"

"Special family training my ass. This was a beat down, or I'm no medic."

"That does it. When Minnie retakes his post I'm asking to have this girl move in with us. I won't let Hitomi's daughter get her ass kicked by her own family routinely!" growled Kushina.


	3. Chapter 3

Hinata woke up from her usual family training surprisingly not feeling like crap the next morning. But there was something wrong with the scenery, because there was no way she was still in the Hyuuga compound.

She found clothes at the bottom of the bed her size, and got dressed. They were all well made and well cared for. They actually suited her more than her usual outfit, which surprised her. She heard voices downstairs, and decided to follow the sound.

And what she saw nearly made her faint. She was in Naruto's house!

"Oh good, you're up. It can only be a good thing that you slept off most of those injuries. Your mother would be furious if she knew what Hiashi was doing," said a woman with crimson red hair.

Hinata whimpered. Being reminded of how angry her father was only made her mood worse.

The woman was on her in a heartbeat.

"It's okay Hinata. Your dad won't have a leg to stand on when I'm through with him. You can stay here as long as you want," said the woman soothingly.

"Who are you?"

"Me? I'm your mother's genin teammate, Kushina Uzumaki. The knucklehead outside is my son," said Kushina cheerfully.

"My mother's..."

"Hitomi would never have let your father beat you like that Hinata. If anything she would have kicked _his_ ass for even thinking of it."

Hinata let out a sob, and Kushina shot Minato a look. He took the hint and went to show Naruto a few jutsu he could use in the backyard out of sight of the girls.

Once the girl was done crying, Kushina patted her on the head.

"Feel better?"

She nodded.

"Tell you what, since the only clothes we have of your size are my old spares, why don't we go shopping later? I know a great place outside the village that sells some really nice ones," said Kushina.

"Won't we get into trouble with the Hokage?"

Kushina winked at her.

"You see that is the best part. You saw that blond outside with Naruto?"

She nodded.

"That's my husband. Doesn't he look really familiar?"

"He looks like Naruto, only without the whiskers."

Kushina wagged her finger in amusement, and pointed at the Hokage monument.

"Take a good long look at the Fourth..."

Hinata stared...and then looked at the photo on the counter. Her eyes widened.

"Naruto's father is the Fourth?"

"Yup! Once this week is over he's going to retake his position during the confusion. That's part of the reason why I was causing so much chaos with my clones. The other part is because I'm mad at how poorly the civilians treated Naruto."

"I don't know why they hate him so much. He doesn't prank them until they throw him out first..."

Kushina's eyes sparkled.

"Oh ho! You have a thing for Naru-chan?" she asked mischievously. Hinata eeped.

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. I would prefer he date a nice girl like you than fall for a Haruno."

"He does like Sakura."

"What?"

"He likes Sakura Haruno, despite the fact she tends to hit him a lot..."

Kushina's face was filled with horror. Her son...liked that bitch's daughter, despite her penchant for violence. Clearly this needed to be corrected.

"Dear kami...if he manages to get me related to that hag I'll strangle him..." she shuddered.

Hinata giggled, unaware Kushina was actually being serious.

* * *

Kushina walked with Hinata into the store. She had been properly horrified that the girl had to make due with undergarments that didn't fit her. Apparently Hiashi wanted nothing to do with the female problems Hinata had, and she was too shy to buy her own. By the time they left the stores, Hinata had gotten an entirely new wardrobe that actually fit her.

She even got some new reading material.

Hinata didn't know what to think of Kushina. She had been starved of real motherly attention for half her life, ever since her mother died giving birth to Hanabi. To make matters worse, her sister practically hated her for being a weakling, when the truth was that Hinata was kinder than most Hyuuga. Unfortunately while some of the older Branch members tried to help her, they couldn't give her any real help when it came to Hiashi.

However, that didn't mean Kushina couldn't. As Hitomi's genin teammate, she could legally take in Hinata if she saw something wrong at home. And there was nothing Hiashi could do about it.

"Um, Kushina-san... how did we get here so fast? The next town over is four hours away..."

"Oh that. Well while I was away I found a faster way of getting to other towns, so long as I had been there before. It's not pleasant, but it does make things easier when it comes to shopping," said Kushina.

Hinata agreed. It felt like she was being squeezed through a small tube.

"But...it does mean we can really go power shopping without getting into trouble with Minnie," said Kushina grinning.

"Minnie?"

"Minnie the Mighty...AKA my idiot husband. He can barely cook to safe his life. Then again, I hate cleaning," said Kushina.

Hinata giggled. Kushina was fun to be around.

Kushina grinned, then had an idea to really make the girl laugh.

"Hey, want to see a fool proof way to see if there are perverts around?"

The way she said it made Hinata back away from her a bit. That grin did _not _inspire confidence. For a moment she thought Kushina was going to demonstrate her son's Sexy Jutsu.

But what happened next had her gaping. Kushina produced three clones, two of which became henged to look like a female Uchiha and her mother, Hitomi. It wasn't until she heard what they were speaking about that her face turned red as a tomato.

They were talking about a night when they were all bored and messing with their jounin instructor's head. Apparently she was one of those people who looked down on same gender relationships.

Within seconds of really getting going, Kushina heard a familiar giggling. She cast her chain upward and they both heard a painful squawk.

"Ha! I knew you were nearby Jiraiya! My pervert senses were going off ever since we came into this town!" said Kushina triumphantly.

"Ow... I have only one question..."

"Yes, it did happen and no I am NOT giving you the details," said Kushina promptly.

"Damn!"

"Kushina-san, who is this?"

"You know those orange books that a lot of people read? The ones that most kunoichi hate because they're really lame?"

"You mean _Icha Icha_? What about them?"

"He's the author. Meet Jiraiya, a self proclaimed super pervert and the Toad Sage. Though from what I hear he has the hots for Tsunade."

"Take all my fun away why don't you..."

"Come on Hinata-chan, if we hurry we can keep Minnie from convincing the house elves to cook dinner," said Kushina.

"House Elves?"

"You'll see when we get home. I plan on having them mostly help out with Tsunade, since they can at least be trusted to care for those who can't eat normally."

_Home_. That single word resounded in Hinata. Before it would have inspired fear in her, but now...she felt at ease. Kushina reminded her of her mother, only she was definitely more cheerful than Hitomi was.

* * *

"Hey Hinata-chan! I didn't know you were staying here too!" said Naruto cheerfully.

"Your mom convinced my father to allow it," said Hinata quietly.

"And not just her apparently," said Kushina dryly.

"Neji-nii-san!" said Hinata in surprise.

Neji looked cross, but at least he wasn't spouting his usual 'Fate' spiel. Which could only be a good thing, because if Kushina heard it she would grab him by the ear and give him one of _her_ monologues.

"Hiashi-sama wants me to insure that nothing untoward happens to you while you are with _her,_" said Neji nodded towards Kushina.

"Who, me?"

The look on her face wouldn't melt butter.

"Speaking of which, why was there an army of clones outside the gates?" asked Neji.

"Oh that. They hit the residential district next. I almost feel sorry for Scarecrow," said Kushina.

"Why is that?" asked Kakashi. He had started dropping by every morning. It wasn't like Kushina cared, so long as he didn't read his books before she had her morning coffee. Besides, the house elves didn't mind cooking for them. It wasn't as if Kushina asked them to cook any other time of the day.

It also helped that they had learned rather quick to have fresh, hot, and very strong coffee going by the time she woke up.

"Well fortunately for you we do have a lot of room. Even if we didn't we could always hire a genin team to add some more rooms," said Kushina.

"Wouldn't it be easier to use your clones?"

"Minnie, you know I love you, but the idea of using my clones to build a house is laughable. I prefer to _destroy_ houses, not build them. Besides if worse came worse we could always hire Gai's team to do it."

Neji winced.

"Wait, don't tell me _you're_ on Gai's team?"

Neji nodded.

"Oh you poor bastard... I have just the thing to help with that,' said Kushina.

"What?"

"Memory spells. I can erase all memory of the Sunset of Youth from your mind."

Neji's eyes widened.

"Kushina-san, if you weren't a married woman and old enough to be my mother I would marry you for that!" said Neji with complete honesty.

Kushina laughed heartily.

"Tell ya what, since I'm going to be stuck dealing with him in the mornings for an entire month, you can stay here and get some strong coffee. I'll throw some headache reliever in as well," said Kushina.

"You are a goddess," said Neji, then added in as an after thought, "Can Tenten join us? She's about the only _sane_ person on the team other than me."

"She isn't a fan girl is she?"

"If you count the fact that she salivates when it comes to weapons as being a fan girl..."

"She'll fit right in. I have a few weapons that could use a good home," said Kushina.

Tenten, it turned out, did have some fan girl tendencies. However they were mostly for Kushina, one of the few women in Konoha to reach jounin level _and_ be considered as a candidate for Kage position. Though all the men were shivering as the girls started cackling evilly.

* * *

It had been an entire week, and Kushina had delivered the wrath of a mother upon the village. Today was the day she had to start working with Gai in the morning, and Minato had learned too late that the man had somehow found a younger clone of himself, complete with spandex and leg warmers.

Not even the strongest brand of coffee legally available could help Kushina with dealing with _two_ of the most insanely cheerful morning people and the Sunset of Youth. Sadly, it appeared that Gai had found someone willing to be the opposite number meaning it came out a _lot_ more often.

Kushina would return with a twitching eyebrow...and then dragged her son to prank a few people. By that time, the ANBU were informed that they could now stop her if needed, but after seeing what she did to the village several were reluctant to deal with the two of them.

On the plus side, there was absolutely no opposition to Minato's return and retaking of the Hokage post. Sarutobi literally tossed him the hat and ran to his house singing loudly "I'M FREE! I'M FREE! THANK SHINIGAMI-SAMA, I'M FREE!"

Kushina had to lean against Minato at that point, because she was laughing so hard. Minato had mostly managed to get on the good side of the civilians by rescuing the last group from his wife's wrath. It had the double effect of announcing he was married, but that was a moot point.

Now he was suffering through the month with his wife. When he had first suggested that she spend an entire month with Gai to even out her free week of revenge, he had no idea that the man had managed to find an almost perfect younger clone of himself. Now his wife was irritable as hell, and she refused to give him any love until the month was over.

Considering she could have drowned him in paperwork with pranks, it was a small price to pay.

* * *

"Kaa-san, what are we going to do today?" asked Naruto.

"Today I'm going to test your copying ability. You _have_ been studying the book haven't you?"

Naruto nodded. Whenever Iruka put him to sleep, he went into his mind and studied the book extensively. He could now see those seals in his mind without thinking about it, though he had difficulty understanding them.

Naruto began to copy the seals under his mother's watchful eye. Ever since her rampage, the Academy now had to look for proper teachers, which meant the graduation ceremony would be held in another three months instead of next month. Minato had been appalled when he learned of the new curriculum, which just barely covered all there was about shinobi duties. He had switched it back to the original curriculum, with a few of the newer classes added as an after thought.

To the surprise of Iruka, Naruto's grades actually shot up when the switch was made. This was mostly due to the fact that some of the books had to be reissued, and Kushina had picked them up for her son. It turned out that Naruto had been given heavily altered books, which explained why his grades were so bad.

Fortunately the Academy recently found a very good teacher who was patient when dealing with idiots...or loudmouths. She'd had practice dealing with a certain red head's unwanted advances when he had given up on Kushina.

That person was Hermione.

Kushina examined her son's work. The book was copied as faithfully as it always was, but Kushina noted there were some errors. Naruto took the corrections with a grain of salt. At least his mother was forgiving and explained what he did wrong with patience.

After that, Kushina got him started on the third part of the ritual. The burning.

"Well, it wasn't a bad first attempt. You did almost all of it right, which is more than I did my first time," said Kushina.

"How many did you get right?"

"A little over half. Then again, you had longer to study it than I did. In three months, you'll get a chance to try again."

"Why three months?"

"Because in order to keep those seals fresh in our minds, we copy, memorize and burn the book every three months. It's sort of a rite of passage to learn fuinjutsu, and it's considered part of our heritage."

"Why not keep the book?" asked Naruto.

"Because some of those seals are extremely dangerous. One of which, for example, can almost permanently seal the Sharingan. Granny Mito told me about the hissy fit that clan had when they learned we had that seal. It was after the battle in the Valley of the End though," said Kushina.

Naruto's eyes widened. They had such powerful seals?

"However, we don't like to broadcast it. It's part of our heritage, and it's against the rules to show them off for the sake of showing off."

"I got it! It's like Hinata-chan and Neji's Byakugan and Jyuken!" said Naruto.

"Exactly. We don't show them to anyone outside our clan. Which reminds me, I need to send a letter to Nagato," said Kushina.

"Nagato?"

"One of the few Uzumaki left. He lives in Rain, though we've only met once or twice before Whirlpool was destroyed. He's been pretty busy lately, but we occasionally send letters to each other. He wasn't surprised in the least that I had managed to end up working for Shingami-sama."

"Wow!"

"How about this. If you finish your homework you can write a letter with me."

"You got it Kaa-san!" cheered Naruto.


	4. Chapter 4

"Kaa-san, what's our cousin like?"

"Nagato? Well he inherited the Uzumaki hair...and he's the only one in the family to awaken the Rinnegan. It's a powerful doujutsu that only comes out once or twice in a generation, if we're lucky. That was the reason why I even knew of him... I heard about his doujutsu and wanted to meet him, so I went to Ame with a few clan members. He seemed pretty surprised by my interest, and we just hit it off. He's my favorite cousin," said Kushina.

"What does the Rinnegan do?"

"I don't really know, but it's supposed to be one of the most powerful doujutsu in existence. Some say it can even beat the Sharingan."

She grabbed an apple out of the bowl on the table. She threw it to Naruto who nabbed it and took another. Naruto had developed a love for apples when Kushina started to buy them. He especially loved the Granny Smith kind, because of their tart flavor.

Naruto's eyes widened.

"Really? An eye stronger than the Sharingan?"

"Supposedly the Rinnegan can bring back the dead," said Kushina.

"Wow..."

"Anyway, what's this I hear about you laying a whoopee cushion on your teacher's chair?"

Hermione had complained of that to Kushina, who thought it was mildly amusing. She then lectured her son on how to tell a quality prank from a bad one. Needless to say Naruto listened with rapt attention to that lecture.

"Now, what do you want to learn tomorrow?"

Naruto looked at her, gave her the biggest pair of puppy eyes as he said "Magic!"

Kushina chuckled, and suspected this was Hermione's revenge for showing Naruto how to really prank his teachers. Fortunately for them, most of the people hired to teach at the Academy at least looked past his fox problem, so the pranks had gone down.

"Alright, I suppose I can start you on the beginner stuff."

"Grandma Selena and Grampa Xeno got me started on that already! I want to learn animal transformation!"

Kushina chuckled.

"How about we start on the potion necessary to find your animal form first?"

Naruto made a face.

"I don't like potions. They smell bad," he complained.

"That they do, but they are dead useful. In fact that little cup of water that Hermione made you drink was a potion."

"I knew that water tasted weird!" said Naruto. It had tasted off.

"That was most likely Veritaserum, which is a very powerful truth potion. Ibiki and Anko use it a lot to back up stuff they get from prisoners."

"Aunty Anko is awesome!"

"That she is."

* * *

Hermione handed over the tests, and beamed at Naruto for getting a high score. Ever since Kushina came back, his scores had shot up through the roof in less than a month.

"These are your tests from last week. I am pleased to say that you have all done well...except for a few of you Sasuke fan girls," she said with narrow eyes.

Said girls winced. Hermione had no patience for fan girls, to Sasuke's relief. If she caught them bothering Sasuke, she sent them outside with buckets and a scroll posted on the wall with that day's lesson. They had to study it while they stood there with water buckets. It doubled as an exercise in strength. They were only allowed to put the buckets down for five minutes, then they had to pick them up. Hermione had a clone outside watching them, so they couldn't slack off.

Minato allowed it because he hated fan girls, and it wasn't that hard a punishment. Hell, in his opinion it was downright light!

Ever since their return, the Academy had seen a rash of drop outs from the civilian clans. Apparently they couldn't handle the higher standards.

The ninja clans, on the other hand, couldn't stop praising the change. More than a few of them were tired of dealing with the weak ass genin that had been sent out since the fox was resealed. Naruto wasn't the only academy student whose grades shot up.

Hermione waited until the end of class before she pulled aside the only civilian girl she really believed had a chance to become a good shinobi.

"Haruno-san, could you wait behind for me?"

* * *

Sakura couldn't understand why she had gotten called out. Her grades were at the top of the class. Was she about to graduate early?

Hermione looked at Sakura...and saw herself a few years ago. The girl was booksmart and not afraid to show it. The only difference was that unlike her, Sakura hadn't taken measures to back up her knowledge with actual strength. That was something Kushina took extra pains to fix before she was a third year.

Hermione looked the girl straight in the eye.

"I'll get it out right now. I see potential in you Haruno, despite your rather annoying fan girl habits. But potential will only go so far in this world, and unless you want to die in your first C rank, you're going to need to forget Sasuke for a while and work on your strength and taijutsu. _Ino_ has more chances of becoming a chunin before you do at the rate you're going."

"But Shisho-sensei, I'm the top kuniochi in the class!"

"Only because you barely scrape by in the physical and aim practices," said Hermione flatly.

Sakura couldn't argue with that. Ever since Hinata became the apprentice of the Yondaime's wife, her practical scores had shot up as fast as Naruto's academics.

"I'll be blunt Sakura. If you were to truly apply yourself in taijutsu and more weapon practice, you might make a passable chunin at best. You remind me a lot of myself when I was your age. I was just as big a bookworm as you are, and I wasn't afraid to boss others around with my knowledge. Kushina-sensei managed to break me of that habit, and now I'm one of the best chunin around. You, on the other hand, have allowed your infatuation with the Uchiha boy to keep you from really becoming strong, and I can't stand to watch you go down that road anymore. If you continue on as you have, at best you'll be considered the most useless Kunoichi to pass the exams," said Hermione bluntly.

Sakura looked like she could cry. She didn't want to be considered useless.

"Like I said, if you concentrate more on training and less on Sasuke, you could become a great kunoichi."

"Are you sure, Shisho-sensei?"

"I know it. I was a civilian until I was eleven, and look where I am now? Now if you really don't want to be labeled as useless once you start to become an actual shinobi, we need to find your niche. Now what can you do _now_ that can be considered useful?"

"Well...I'm smart...and I have good chakra control...and I can keep idiots in line..."

Hermione thought of all the careers for shinobi that fit some of those requirements, and an idea came to mind.

"How good is your chakra control?"

"Almost perfect."

"We'll see how perfect it is with a little test. Kushina mentioned getting Hinata and Naruto onto this within the week..."

It didn't take long for Hermione to pin down the perfect career for Sakura. The girl had a near eidetic memory for book learning...which made her one of the most perfect people to train for the medical corps. Hermione wasn't a big fan of blood and the messier applications of medical techniques (there was a very good reason Neville had been elected as the team medic) but she had a fair hand at some of the easier ones.

Once Sakura found her natural place in the shinobi world, her interest in Sasuke dropped almost completely to the shock of Ino and relief of Sasuke. She quickly developed a passion for the medical arts.

* * *

Iruka was rather surprised by the transformation...so he asked his girlfriend while they were on their date what she had done.

Hermione giggled. Iruka was the kind of boyfriend she liked. He was book smart, intelligent, strong and he had more stamina than most jounin, but he wasn't arrogant about it. Her parents absolutely adored him, and so did Kushina. He liked her because she kept her civilian mindset and he thought she was restful. But he had also seen her more...dominant side whenever she grew really angry. She had as much a temper as her teacher did, only without the demon backing her up.

More than one grabby shinobi ended up hexed and hung out to dry by the pissed off madoushi.

They matched each other rather well, and made a formidable team against the unruly Academy students...plus she was the only other teacher there who could catch Naruto after a prank, which spoke loads about her ability. More than one ANBU had been left trying to catch their breath simply trying to catch up to that bundle of energy.

"I took her aside and told her the cold hard truth. If she didn't shape up she was going to be less than cannon fodder when she became a ninja. Once I figured out where her specialty lied, she took it from there."

"What about the other girls?"

"None of them showed any real ability towards the shinobi arts. And believe me, I looked hard for them to show _something _that said they could survive outside."

"None of them?" asked Iruka somewhat unhappily.

"Maybe one or two, but to be blunt Sakura was the worst off. Knowing her personality she probably would have thought book smarts were stronger outside the Academy than they really are. They're more of a crutch for intelligence gathering missions than anything," said Hermione absentmindedly.

"That I can believe. Just because I teach doesn't mean I follow the book's advice before my own experience."

"Kushina made a point to break me of that habit early on...I can't tell you how many times that saved my life before we came to Konoha."

Iruka nodded, turning the meat with expert ease. He had taken her to the Akimichi run barbeque place that many shinobi frequented for their date. As the two debated books over experience, they enjoyed the rather spirited debate they had with each other. It was nice to have someone who they could relate to.

Unknown to them, Kushina and Hermione's parents were already waiting for Iruka to man up and ask Hermione for her hand. Either he would marry her, or they would become best friends.

It had been six months since they had come to Konoha, and anyone who had visited during the Sandaime's reign would note the change. Everyone was much, much happier and there had actually been a boom in pregnancies since Minato returned. Inoichi was now about to become a father again, and from what the doctor's said it would be a son. Ino couldn't wait to be a big sister.

Draco had returned from his visit to Kumo...and had come out with a pen pal by the name of Yugito. While relationships between the two villages were still strained, the two remained friends anyway. It wasn't until Kushina went as an ambassador to Kumo that she found out that the girl Draco was interested in was in fact a jinchuriki like herself. The girl Draco liked happened to be carrying the Two Tailed Cat...and her host was very, _very _surprised to learn that Draco's genin teacher had half the Nine Tailed Fox inside her.

It did not, however, keep her from befriending the woman the moment Kushina threw a silencing hex on Killer B that would make it impossible for him to rap until it wore off...in about three months. The Raikage actually kissed her for that one!

Kushina left Kumo with quite a few people cheering her out. Apparently Bee's raps were used as torture in Kumo, and he didn't mind doing it in public.

When Minato heard about that, he started work on a trade with Kumo in exchange for a _real_ peace treaty...the Hyuuga weren't happy until Minato threatened to help his wife work on a counter seal for the Caged Bird. That shut up the elders and Hiashi pretty quick.

Especially when Kushina threatened to locate one of the best seals against Doujutsu to use on their clan. They didn't know she had that particular one in her arsenal, but they sure as hell weren't going to piss off a seal mistress who was better than Jiraiya _or_ Minato on a good day.

Of course there were some villages that were impossible to join with. Namely Iwa and Kiri. Iwa wanted nothing to do with Konoha after the last Great War where Minato annihilated half their forces. He did, however, managed to get on the Tsuchikage's good side by mentioning that he knew the only solution to the hellish paperwork that all Kage faced.

The look on the old geezer's face when Minato calmly mentioned using shadow clones to do his work for him had been priceless...which was why he took a picture and made copies for Sarutobi. The Tsuchikage was left banging his head repeatedly for not thinking of that sooner, much as Sarutobi had.

Kiri was impossible to ally with because they were still in the midst of a civil war and their previous Kage had been killed. They had yet to elect a new one.

That didn't stop Kushina from taking missions to Kiri or the surrounding countries. Every other mission she would return with survivors from the purges with new kekkei genkai eager to start a new life in Konoha. She had saved twelve clans that would have been wiped out by the hunters that way.

* * *

It was soon to be the first graduation since Minato revamped the Academy back to the original standards. And, since there had been a change, even if Naruto failed this time he would have one last try.

Hermione was the other proctor along with Iruka. Mizuki had been sent to the T and I division for working with Orochimaru, giving him stats about the latest crop of Academy graduates. It was unlikely he would live to see freedom.

"Hyuuga, Hinata!" Hermione called out.

The once timid girl came in with a lot more confidence than she had before, and looked her teachers in the eye. It was a vast improvement over the formerly stuttering girl. Being told that no matter what she would be Kushina's apprentice had given her more of a backbone.

"You have to perform two of the three required jutsu to pass," said Iruka. When he first started teaching they had to perform a random jutsu that was on the curriculum that was picked by the proctor. This was the main cause of Naruto's constant failure to pass. Most of the proctors hated him, so they picked the ones he wasn't any good at.

Hinata performed a decent henge and replacement.

"Pass! Haruno, Sakura!"

Sakura walked in with a determined glint. Ever since starting the basic course for Medic Nin, she had dropped most of her fan girl tendencies and focused more on improving her skills. Tsunade was rather pleased with her progress and was considering making the girl her personal apprentice. It didn't hurt that Sakura had gone to a beauty shop and had half of her long hair cut and dyed it a more sedate brown. Hair that bright and unusual was guaranteed to get her killed in the field.

"Two of the three required jutsu Sakura," said Hermione kindly. Sakura beamed at the woman, who she looked up to ever since she had taken it upon herself to correct a real problem.

Five minutes with Tsunade had shown her rather painfully that if she remained as she was she was going to get killed in a real fight.

She did a bushin and a replacement.

"Pass!"

It went on like this for a good half hour before they started on the 'U' section.

"Uchiha, Sasuke!"

Sasuke did a bushin and a henge, and left. Naruto walked in after him, grinning.

"Two of the three academy jutsu Naruto. And I swear to kami if you use _that_ jutsu I won't treat you to ramen later," said Iruka.

By that he meant the Oiroke no Jutsu.

"Like I would invite the wrath of 'Mione-nee-chan on me!" said Naruto with a grin. Hermione didn't mind the technique...unless Naruto was dumb enough to do a henge of her with no clothes, and then she got hex-happy.

Naruto performed a perfect henge of Hermione, and then replaced himself with her by accident by putting too much chakra into the technique. Iruka was actually amused by that.

However, once the two talked it over, Iruka took out his stamp and with a great flourish (and no little sense of relief) said "Naruto Uzumaki..._PASS!_"

Naruto's cheer could be heard all the way to the Hokage tower, where Minato grinned.

"Sounds like the change to the graduation exam worked. Knowing Iruka he'll take Naruto out for ramen later."

"Speaking of Naruto, did you know his second animal form wasn't even a four footed one?"

"What was it?"

"A peregrine falcon. Apparently he takes more after his grandfather than I did," she said with amusement.

"Oh?"

"Sirius mentioned something about teaching him to fly, and you know what that means," she said with an evil grin. She was a damn good flier, but she preferred to reign hell from up close and personal.

"Oh dear lord..." said Minato, putting his head in his hands. Naruto would surely reign hell from above once he got the hang of it.

"So, what are you going to get your son for his graduation? After all the teamwork stories you told him about, I'm sure he'll pass the real final exam."

"He better. I'm putting him him with Anko since I know for a fact that Kakashi is so damn lazy that he wouldn't be able to teach. What Hiruzen was thinking when he kept trying to force him to become an instructor..."

"Anko was very happy to hear that she had replaced your former student, by the way. Apparently the previous Civilian council kept bringing up that damn snake every time she volunteered for the job," said Kushina.

"I can at least trust her to keep her team on their toes and actually train them," said Minato.

"Not to mention she actually _wants_ to teach the kids. An insane person _willing _to teach anything they can is a hundred times better than an unmotivated teacher forced to do so," said Kushina wisely.

"At least an inexperienced insane teacher would be willing to see what fit their students. I get the feeling if Kakashi actually _were_ to teach kids it would be the bare minimum with loads of teamwork training."

"Which would drive the team apart faster than anything. Teamwork can't be forced, and finding a comrade in battle is often the best method."


	5. Chapter 5

Anko was eagerly awaiting with the other jounin instructors for her team. Kurenai watched her best friend with amusement, since Anko had taken the place of Kakashi Hatake. It was finally her chance to prove that she wasn't her former teacher's student.

As Iruka called out the team selection, the two waited for their teams to be called.

"Team 7 will be Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze, Hinata Hyuuga, and Chouji Akimichi."

Minato had been firm about breaking up the Ino-Shika-Cho trio. While he fully planned to mix and match genin with other teams so that they could have a more rounded out style to work with, he also noted some problems with their personality. Ino, for one, was far too forceful and would bully the boys into doing whatever she wanted. Sakura had at least gotten her head on straight and was taking her shinobi career seriously, if only to be called something other than useless during battle.

Sasuke needed something solid to fall back on, and while Minato was all for a healthy rivalry or two, he just couldn't see anything good coming out of combining Naruto's loud personality with his stoic one. That was just _asking_ for trouble.

Mainly because Sasuke still had some real issues with having teammates that progressed much faster than he did.

Which was precisely why Minato placed him on the same team as Shikamaru and Sakura. Both of them could use improvement and they were smart enough to keep Sasuke from going too overboard. And with Kurenai, he could learn how to really use his Sharingan. Poor Asuma was left Ino, Shino and Kiba. And Minato had given all of them one warning.

If any of the new genin teams showed any signs of trying to leave the village for another or disregard their teams for personal glory, he was going to punt their ass to Gai for morning training so fast that it would make their heads spin. And that was with no coffee or migraine relievers.

(Minato still laughed when he saw Neji and Tenten actually _worshiping_ Kushina for hooking them up with the strongest coffee legally available along with a prescription to the best damn migraine reliever made by the Nara clan. Ironically enough it turned out the main reason Neji hated Lee was because of the migraines the boy induced with his youth rants.)

Such a threat was more than enough to keep the kids on the task at hand.

* * *

Anko gleefully took her new team out to her second favorite training ground and decided to do the usual bit to get to know her new students.

"Name, likes, dislikes, and dreams. Get to it blondie!" she said with a grin.

"Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze! I like ramen, foxes, owls, reading, seals and gardening! I dislike the three minutes it takes for ramen to be ready, bullies, and people who think the world belongs to them simply because of their rank or family! My dream is to one day become Hokage and burn all the paperwork anyone tries to force me to do!"

Anko laughed at that one. Even though Naruto was a natural when it came to Shadow clones, he still hated paperwork. She looked at the girl.

"Hinata Hyuuga. I like gardening, reading and... (she blushed and skipped to the next part). I dislike bullies and abuse, and people who think you are weak because you happen to be kind to others. I hope to one day be as strong as Kushina-san and to abolish the Caged Bird Seal to unite my clan."

"Chouji Akimichi. I like cooking, good food and people who look past my physical appearance. I dislike the word 'fat' and people who think that just because I'm big I can't make an effective shinobi. I hope to one day lead my clan after my father and find a new jutsu for our clan to use."

"Good! My name is..."

"Anko-nee-chan! The most awesome Interrogator in Konoha next to Ibiki-jii-san!" said Naruto with enthusiasm.

Anko grinned and ruffled Naruto's hair. He was like her kid brother.

"Anyway, my name is Mitarashi Anko. You can call me Anko-sensei. I like snakes, torture, and dango. I dislike traitors, and people who hold my sensei against me. My dream is to one day track down my former jounin instructor and make him pay for betraying me," said Anko. Her other dream was to finally be able to teach, and that had already come true!

"Right, now that we're all acquainted, we'll meet at my favorite training ground for the real genin graduation test. If you can figure out the real point of the test, you pass. If you can't, then your ass gets booted back to the Academy. Now the training area I prefer is Area 44, and I will meet you there."

"Yes sensei!"

What she didn't tell them was the previous curriculum's survival rate to genin. Barely thirty three percent of the graduates passed before Minato returned it to the original teachings. While the survival rate to genin was slightly higher than the current one, it also tended to give out better genin.

Most of those who passed the last true test tended to become at least chunin, which couldn't be said of the one that was enacted after the Fox attacked.

* * *

Naruto was eagerly awaiting his teammates. He really liked the people he got. Anko liked him enough to actually help him learn, Hinata wasn't a complete Sasuke fan girl (one of the rare few who didn't hang off his best friend's every word) and Chouji was one of his few friends at the Academy who skipped out with him. Because of Padfoot's intervention, Chouji was able to get to know the more timid girls who thought Sasuke was cool, but were too afraid to ask him out. Not that they could have gotten past Ino in any case.

All in all, it was a fairly balanced team that he could actually get along with.

Hinata walked up with their lunch, Kushina telling the elves to pack extra (as in Hagrid-sized portions) for Chouji.

Kushina couldn't be more happy with how her intervention worked for a few from England.

Draco was currently in training to be a diplomat with Kumo (partly to improve village relations, but mostly so he had a chance with Yugito), Hermione was dating Iruka, Remus was about to have his first child with Tsume (which horrified Kiba when he learned he was going to have a little sister), and Sirius was planning to ask Anko to marry him once she passed her genin team. Hagrid was currently courting one of the girls from the Akimichi clan, and so far things were looking up.

But that was nothing compared to the news Tsunade delivered Kushina for her last check up after she rescued another group of Kiri bloodline survivors.

Kushina was pregnant again. Kushina was going to save that surprise for a while, and Tsunade agreed to wait until the woman had some cameras for the event.

Anko arrived with a grin. At least her genin were on time!

"Alright kids! You have only one task. Get to the center of the forest without getting eaten!"

"Eaten?" said Chouji nervously.

Naruto raised his hand.

"Don't bother to raise your hand, just ask."

"Is this the same forest that Hagrid got his baby tiger?" asked Naruto.

"Yes, this is that forest. It's the only place you can find a Fire Country Tiger...and my pet basilisk Sally."

"The same basilisk Kaa-chan rescued from that cave?"

"The same one."

"O-kay... We're toast."

"What makes you say that Naruto?" asked Chouji.

"The basilisk she rescued was over eighty feet long and that Fire Country tiger Hagrid has is bigger than he is and it's barely half grown!" said Naruto.

Their eyes widened and they all looked at Anko like she was crazy.

"Like I said, you just need to make it to the center and not get eaten. But I could pass you early if you complete the secret test."

She took out a dango skewer and said "You have until my skewer reaches that post to get into the forest before I punt you in. Ready...GO!"

The three ran at a fast pace into the forest. Hinata had placed their lunch into a sealing scroll like Kushina taught her. No point in wasting good food.

When they took a break, Naruto outlined what he knew of the forest. Anko sometimes took him with her to her training ground. Her basilisk was as awesome as Anko was.

"Right, there's a long river that leads to the Valley of the End in here. It also leads straight to the tower, which is how they get supplies," said Naruto.

"How do you know that?"

"Remember the Chili Incident?"

"Ah...never mind then," said Chouji.

Everyone remembered the infamous Chili Incident, when Naruto and Sasuke gassed out the entire school. They had to stay out of the village for a week before the Hokage allowed them back.

"Anyway we stayed in the tower out here until the chili wore off. Since it was easier to just float along the river instead of dealing with the Tigers, we used the supply boat."

"Where is the supply boat?"

"Anko took it back with her a week after we used it."

"Where is the river?" asked Hinata.

"Well, from what I remember, the river should be about a mile that way," said Naruto.

Before they could get to the river, they ran across a hungry snake. Chouji and Hinata would have attacked it and likely angered it, but Naruto was the first to react.

"_Yo. How the water temp in the river?"_ asked Naruto.

The snake hissed, and looked at him twice.

"_It's mild, but I wouldn't head that way. An entire pride of Fire Country Tigers is currently fishing at the moment,"_ said the snake.

"_Thanks for the heads up!"_ Naruto said.

The snake slithered off, intent on eating something else. No snake would dare eat a true speaker.

"Naruto...did you just talk to the snake?"

"Kaa-san said it's something she got from this guy named Voldemort. So when she had me it got passed down. At least it's nothing creepy like spiders..." said Naruto.

"True," said Hinata. She didn't mind snakes, but she really didn't like spiders. Then again, neither did her father. Neji was the only one who could kill or get rid of the things whenever one was spotted.

With the snake's warning, they headed past the river and towards the middle. Chouji stopped them before they ran headlong into a patch of highly poisonous mushrooms.

"We need to avoid this area. Even touching one of these can kill you in an hour," said Chouji.

"Good save Chouji!" said Naruto, patting him on the back. Chouji blushed, rather pleased with the praise.

When they made it to the center of the forest, Hinata stopped them.

"Someone's here," said Hinata.

_Byakugan!_

"Eep! Anko-sensei!" said Hinata.

Anko dropped from the canopy above, her face grinning widely. The kids had made it to the tower.

"Congrats on passing the exam! I knew you three could do it!" she said.

"What was it? And what was with the secret exam stuff anyway?" asked Naruto.

"The secret exam...was to see if you three could work as a team. You see the reason why we have so many dropouts and why there are so few teams is because more often than not, you kids can't get it through your heads that you have to work_ together_."

"So...this whole thing was to see if we could learn to rely on each other?" said Chouji.

"Naruto, you took charge and insured that the others at least knew which direction the tower was instead of going it alone. You also kept them from getting eaten by one of the medium sized snakes when it was hungry. Chouji, you kept them from getting poisoned by some deadly mushrooms. And Hinata, you made sure to alert them to danger. I officially declare Team 7 as a pass! As your prize, we start on escort missions once you get the hang of doing D ranks," said Anko with glee. She couldn't stand those.

* * *

"_I (BLEEPING) HATE THAT (BLEEPING) CAT!"_ yelled Naruto. Every damn time they caught Tora, the blasted cat would try to claw his face off.

Tsunade had actually been impressed that Naruto had to have medical treatment after the last time.

Anko was too busy laughing her ass off to tell him not to curse. Then again, he picked up most of his arsenal of swears from her anyway.

Hinata fussed over him, treating what scratches she could while Chouji kept the catnip on hand and the cat far from Naruto. Tora was quite docile if you had catnip on you...and Chouji usually carried some for headaches.

_(This actually works, btw. Catnip in hot tea can cure headaches. If you don't believe me look it up yourself.)_

"Team 7, returning with the hell cat," said Anko with a grin. The chunin behind the desk coughed to cover up his amusement. Minato didn't bother to correct her. The sad fact was that he had been forced to chase Tora as a genin, which meant the cat possibly _was_ a demon, though it did beg the question as to how the hell the Fire Daimyo's wife managed to keep it and live.

Either way, if that cat were to suddenly drop dead at that very moment, they would raise a festival in honor of the event. And Minato would spearhead the idea. Chances were pretty good that the shinobi would pay for it out of their own pockets too.

(As it stood, if Tora even came across Kushina in a pregnancy-enhanced foul mood, he was going to die by her hand. She knew how to cast the Killing Curse and she wasn't above using it on that damn cat!)

"Come one Blondaime! Give us something that doesn't involve that damn cat!"

Anko couldn't help her reaction. She started howling with laughter at the newest nickname Naruto had come up with for the Fourth. Even if he was his dad, Naruto could care less about people in power. As such he was the only person in the village aside from the Fourth's former student, wife and good friends who could get away with calling him something so demeaning as Blondaime...even if the nickname _did _fit him to a tee.

That didn't mean Minato didn't have a way to get back at his son.

"Naruto, just for that you can't hit Ichiraku later," said Minato annoyed.

"Curse you!" said Naruto half heartedly.

Not that Naruto couldn't con his mother into taking him later. She spoiled her son rotten in between training. She was determined to make up for all those lost years of his life, and Naruto loved it.

Once Anko got control of herself, she managed to get out her agreement with the kid. She hated dealing with Tora as much as Naruto did.

At least they had long since moved past tree walking and were currently learning how to run along the roofs like monkeys. It was starting to become second nature to them now.

"Yeah yeah... I do have a three low level missions, one is an intelligence gathering for Wave within the next month, a diplomatic mission to Sand with Kushina, and then there's one to Kumo with Draco...but I don't know if you four can handle any of them just yet..."

"Anything to get away from that damn cat!" said Naruto vehemently. The other two agreed.

"You do realize that it will mean you can't mix and match with the other teams until you come back right?"

Minato's plan to mix and match genin was working better than he had hoped. It allowed the genin to learn skills they otherwise wouldn't have, and it gave the jounin a reason to actually work with their students.

They had already seen a marked improvement after all twelve graduates (one of which was an all Civilian background team to the shock of the older shinobi) after being thrown in Gai's general direction for an entire day.

After hearing that slacking would result in another training session with him, the newly minted genin had been working with religious fever.

"We'll take the one with Kushina," said Anko.

"Sold!" said Naruto.

* * *

"So what exactly is this mission for?"

Since the Sand mission wasn't taking place until next month, they went with the Wave one, which would kill time and keep Naruto out of the Hokage's hair.

"Escort and protection until we finish the mission. Apparently some local bandits have been causing trouble for him and he hired us to keep them away," said Anko.

She said nothing when she noticed how nervous Tazuna was.

It wasn't until she saw the two puddles that she grew suspicious.

"Hey Naruto, care to demonstrate your reign of pain for our client? Maybe he'll shut up about the others," she asked.

Naruto had an evil glean in his eye as he brought out a sealed container that said 'For Emergencies Only'. Something inside sloshed back and forth, suggesting a liquid of sorts.

"What is that?"

"Something I'm banned from having within village limits unless absolutely necessary. Dad said if he caught any of the vendors selling to me outside of emergencies or out-of-village missions, he would string them up by their balls and throw them to the Inuzuka clan as target practice for their jutsu," said Naruto with glee.

When he opened the container, Tazuna got a good whiff of what was in there.

"Is that...coffee?" asked Tazuna in disbelief.

"Not just any coffee, the strongest brand legally available without sending you into the hospital for caffeine shock. On cup of that will wake the dead...or anyone forced to deal with Might Gai in the mornings," said Anko cheerfully. Neji and Tenten were the only genin allowed to even _have_ that under the age of 21. It was considered stronger than sake.

Right as the missing nin burst out of the puddles, Naruto took a mouthful of the drink...and immediately vanished.

"What the...?"

Both missing nin were taken out in three seconds flat, to the shock of Tazuna.

"How did...? What the hell just happened?!" asked Tazuna in disbelief.

"Naruto + Coffee= his equivalent of the Hiraishin. Naruto is actually faster than his old man whenever he drinks that stuff," said Anko.

"Naruto when he drinks coffee is scarier than his mom in the mornings..." shivered Hinata.

Undisputed fact: Dealing with Kushina Uzumaki in the morning before she has had coffee is liable to get you killed in a very painful and/or humiliating manner. Her dislike of mornings was only beaten by her hate of children being hurt outside of reasonable training.


	6. Chapter 6

Anko decided to bump up the kid's training by having them water walk all the way to the other shore. The kids had a good grasp of how to do it, and it wouldn't kill them to practice.

By the time the got to shore, only Naruto wasn't exhausted...and he was helping the others continue on. Though Anko did take pity on them and give them soldier pills.

Once they caught their breath, the team marched on. It never occurred to Anko to call for back up, because frankly Naruto could take on anyone they ran into with a cup of strong coffee. If that didn't scare missing nin, nothing would.

But she wasn't prepared for Zabuza to make an appearance.

* * *

_How the hell did I get captured in a damn Water Prison?!_ Thought Anko, ignoring Zabuza's spiel. Really, couldn't the nuke nin come up with something more original? These were _her_ students for Kami's sake! Like a little KI was going to do more than make them bored!

Finally Anko had enough.

"Naruto, take two soldier pills and a drink from that flask of yours. NOW."

Hinata and Chouji looked horrified. Soldier pills were like candy to Naruto for some reason, and every time he took one he was worse than if he had a ton of sugar. He was only allowed to have them when his chakra was below jounin level. Combining that with coffee was like asking Naruto to go all out on the enemy.

"Are you sure Sensei?" asked Naruto worriedly. He didn't want to hurt his friends.

"This guy is boring me, and he needs to see that no one calls the son of the Red Hot-Blooded Habenaro a coward."

"Okay Sensei... but you may want to hide underwater for this," said Naruto, popping a few pills with a long pull of his flask full of strong coffee.

"Steal that sword of his and I'll let ya keep it," grinned Anko.

Naruto's unholy smirk sent shivers down Zabuza's spine. Something did _not_ add up here.

The moment the pills took effect, Zabuza lost all track of the hyper blonde. One minute he was by his team, the next he was stealing his sword. Zabuza tried hard to keep his grip on the thing, but the brat was stronger than most jounin. Plus his chakra levels were beyond freakishly strong!

Naruto finally yanked the sword from Zabuza, to his shock and then he sealed it so the man couldn't retrieve it.

It didn't help that right as he was about to slam a kunai down on the blond's head, out of nowhere Hinata appeared from behind and shut off his tenketsu in the arms. Not to be outdone, Chouji slammed into him with his enlarged arm, causing Zabuza to hit the nearby treeline pretty hard.

"Just out of curiosity, why the hell did you attack us anyway?" asked Naruto.

"Short midget with issues doesn't want Konoha nin to see how bad it's gotten in Wave. He panicked when he heard the drunk over there went to ask for aid in the Leaf," grunted Zabuza, trying to get rid of the kinks he had from the hit. It hurt like hell, but he could still fight.

Anko snickered. She hadn't had to do a damn thing since Naruto was a beast when he drank coffee with that much sugar. That and she was of the opinion that it was better to toss her students in the deep to either sink or swim. And as it turned out, they were natural 'swimmers'.

Suddenly three senbon hit Zabuza in the neck, and Anko frowned.

A Hunter Nin from the Mist appeared, and claimed Zabuza as his kill.

"Nice try, you didn't hit the jugular or any of the major arteries in the neck. Just tell him next time I won't be so nice," said Anko amused.

The hunter nodded, and left with the unconscious Zabuza before Anko changed her mind.

* * *

By the end of a week, Anko had the report needed. But she was frowning. Gato had Wave in a stranglehold and had captured the local hero Kaiza. He planned to execute the man in public to keep the citizens from trying anything. Fortunately Zabuza had headed Anko's warning and had agreed not to bother them...at least until he was healed.

Besides the escort mission ended once Tazuna was inside his house. They were currently living there for a bit since it was better than endangering an entire hotel full of innocent bystanders.

Inari, the rather irritating grandson of Tazuna and step son of Kaiza, was getting on Naruto's last nerve. Finally when he couldn't take it anymore he bitchslapped the kid who was bawling that his dad was going to be killed by Gato.

Inari was so started he stopped his crying and actually looked at Naruto.

"Kid, I have no idea why the hell you're so worried. Hell, I didn't even know who my parents were until I was eight and I had to wait six years just to see them. And I hate waiting. It was so painful not having them around it would break most people. And you're complaining that your dad was captured by the midget who compensates for his issues through bullying others? Do yourself a favor...grow a pair, build a bridge and get over it! You really think Konoha nin would allow someone like Gato to kill an innocent like Kaiza for some trumped up charges?"

Anko finished the dango she had sealed away for later and gave the kid a look.

"He's right. While this was primarily an intelligence mission we won't allow Gato to kill people however he pleases. This village is too close to Konoha and we would look bad if we allow something like that to happen so close to our own borders," she commented.

Naruto didn't know what his actions would cause later, but at least he got Inari to shut up.

* * *

The ninja were henged in the crowd to avoid Gato from learning what they looked like. Zabuza certainly hadn't said anything about them, and had only told them about Anko who was known for being a sadist.

_'Fox Boy, when I give the signal you unleash the clone army. I want captures not kills,'_ said Anko through the headset. Zabuza wasn't in the mood to deal with the team again, and since Gato hadn't said anything about the execution he didn't show up. Not his problem.

_'You got it Anko-nee.'_

_'Shark Eyes, you take out the samurai and protect Kaiza. Tank, you take out the ones near Gato. As far as the base is concerned, we can raid it for information.'_

_'Think Dad will fault us for giving the people of Wave back their money?'_

_'Not likely, hell it would improve village relations. When Kaiza is secured we'll capture Gato and seal him so I can work him over later. Fox Boy, you can help me with that.'_

_'Hai, sensei!'_ came the chorus of genin.

_'If all goes well we'll get a nice bonus for getting rid of this pest. If not I'll take full blame. Mission, Start!'_

Gato had just ordered the samurai to kill Kaiza when all of a sudden the unthinkable happened.

A sea of blond and orange burst through the fence, plowed right through the samurai, and revealed three kids, one of which was the original blond with his hands in a jutsu sign.

A young girl with pale lavender eyes (which marked her as a Hyuuga to anyone familiar with the doujutsu or clan) and an unmarked forehead (signifying she was from the main branch) hit the samurai near Kaiza with her fingertips, and then freed the man who looked a little worse for wear.

Gato then saw the other genin, a chubby brat who looked like he was wearing panties on his head (it's true, Chouji's headgear really looks like that pre-chunin exam.) who had one arm the size of a tree.

That was all he saw right before said arm back handed him through the shocked (and highly relieved crowd) of Wave citizens when he knew no more from the fact he landed with his head hitting a hard surface just right to make him see double before passing out.

Meanwhile Anko was taking out his base and raiding it for any information that could prove useful. Oh, and the cash Gato had illegally taken from the country of Wave.

It was during this raid that she found papers on something called the Akatsuki, and what little she saw made her frown. She had heard of this organization before, but where... then it hit her!

Kushina's only remaining cousin ran something with that name! (She didn't count Petunia's family as relatives. She was an Uzumaki and from what she could tell they weren't even related anyway, despite what the senile old goat thought.)

She would not be happy to hear about this. Oh well, her cousin was the one who would feel her wrath!

Once she finished, she found a day book and looked at the entries. When she read what he planned for Zabuza, she cackled. He was stupid enough to double cross the Demon of the Mist, then she would gladly help the eyebrow less nin kick the midget's ass!

* * *

By the time they left Wave, the very atmosphere had changed for the better. With Gato arrested for trying to execute a man illegally just for trying to help his community, the citizens had begun to smile again. Tazuna was planning to build a bridge, and he planned to name it after Naruto because if it hadn't been for him, his grandson wouldn't have grown up a little and Kaiza would be dead.

It had been the blond's idea to blindside the tyrant by attacking during the execution. Anko had gone along with it and his teammates followed his lead.

And to top it all off, Wave had been annexed by Kiri since Gato took over and the payments had dropped to unacceptable levels. Which meant Konoha could forge a peace treaty with the country in exchange for regular patrols to keep the peace.

Naruto practically whistled all the way home. He had no idea that Anko had actually convinced Zabuza to go to Konoha when she told him about the Mizukage being killed and the fact that several Kiri bloodlines had been evacuated to the village. One of which was the very small remnant of the Yuki clan, which his apprentice happened to be from.

* * *

"You guys packed?" asked Kushina with a cheerful grin. Since this was mostly a learning experience for Naruto and the others, Anko had opted to stay behind. She would spend the free time getting more answers from Gato, who was still in the Torture department when they found out what kind of treasure trove he was. He was a meticulous note taker, and only he knew the codes in his book.

Kushina didn't mind the company, if anything she preferred it. Besides it would do Naruto good to get outside the village and see how other major ninja villages worked. Plus she heard the Ichibi was around his age.

Naruto had taken the news of the Kyuubi rather well, considering he was just told that he had a demon fox who was hated by the entire village and who had a cranky attitude towards most of his containers inside him. Then again when Kushina told him that she had the other half, who was much, much crankier than the one he had he really cheered up. It gave Kushina a way to talk to her son without speaking, and it meant she would always know where he was.

Kyuubi had actually become rather friendly once she struck a deal. She would put a collar on him and give him free reign to walk about in her mind so long as he cooperated with her. Considering she was on the good side of a god that could easily kill him, he had agreed. But he still wasn't giving her his name.

Naruto and Kushina kept up a cheerful banter all the way to the desert, with Chouji adding his input, since the topic was one he held near and dear to his heart.

Food.

In this case it was a mixture of ramen, dango, BBQ, spaghetti, udon, soba, cinnamon rolls (Hinata), yakisoba and all things in between. Naruto and Kushina were noodle heads in every sense of the word, and whenever Sasuke came over they always had spaghetti or something with tomatoes.

To top it all off, Kushina had even invited the Akimichi heir to a backyard BBQ she was planning once she got back. He could even bring his parents, so long as they brought dishes. While she was great at cooking in large quantities (one of the odd side effects of being a jinchuriki was a massive appetite to rival the Akimichi clan, usually involving one specific type of food or food group) not even she was stupid enough to try and feed three Akimichi members and Hagrid without making outside help mandatory. As it was, she planned to have the house elves help her.

It took all of four days to reach the village, mostly due to the fact that the kids weren't used to the higher temperatures, and Kushina could already tell the place was in an economic slump. She had heard the Wind Daimyo had sent a lot of missions to the Leaf, but this was ridiculous!

It wasn't until she met the Kazekage personally (Naruto and the others were waiting outside the tower for her) that she understood why. The Kazekage was, to be blunt, an idiot when it came to politics and how things were supposed to work when it came to the Kage and the Daimyo. It was no wonder the Wind Daimyo got pissed off enough to outsource the missions!

Sure, he was a tactical genius when it came to a battle and he could be considered an A rank in power, but he had all the tact of Kushina when she was beyond pissed. At least she knew when to hold her tongue.

Minato had sent her to scope out the village and to see how they could help them. He didn't know the entire problem wasn't the village or the shinobi, but the man leading them. And it did not help in the least that the man was openly greedly.

Things would get much, much worse before it got better.

* * *

When Kushina left the office (and given permission to roam the streets with only one guard watching her from the shadows) she was informed that the children had already left to go shopping without her.

Her only order was that they stick together and at least leave a general direction if they left. Looking at the sun, she winced. It was no wonder they left! She had been in there for three hours!

So she asked the Kyuubi where they were...and got an interesting response.

_**If you must know, woman, they are with the Ichibi and his siblings. Just follow the tug**_, said the Kyuubi bored.

Kushina felt an odd pulling sensation, and started walking. It took her five minutes to find her son playing with a kid with hair as red as her own, a blond with four pony tails and a boy who looked like he was wearing cat pajamas and stole his sister's makeup.

Naruto sensed her behind him and grinned. Kushina took one look at the red head and smiled. He seemed to be enjoying himself, to the shock of the older children.

"Having fun Naru-chan?" she asked.

"Yeah! Gaara is awesome!" said Naruto loudly.

Gaara seemed unused to praise, or someone not flinching at him. He must be the Ichibi.

"Hiya! The name's Kushina Uzumaki-Namikaze, this runt's mother," said Kushina with a grin. Naruto didn't protest, because she had her hand on his head. If he did she might whock him.

"Subaku no Gaara," said the red head tonelessly.

He looked like a tanuki! And those bags under his eyes couldn't possibly be healthy for a boy his age. Then the name clicked.

"You're the Kazekage's son aren't you?"

Gaara nodded.

"Ironic that the son of the Fourth Kazekage is playing with the Fourth Hokage's son...or that both are jinchuriki," she said amused.

Gaara shot Naruto an odd look.

Kushina grinned, and did something that had the two siblings gape at her. She pinched Gaara's checks...and didn't get killed for it.

"You are just too cute!"

Seeing Gaara's startled expression (and the fish out of water ones on his brother and sister) Kushina did the impossible. She got Gaara to smile without making him look homicidal. All by giving him something he had been denied for years. A simple hug.

By the time they left Suna three things had been established.

The Sand Siblings now had an all access pass into the Uzumaki house. Gaara had made an actual friend and found someone he could consider a surrogate aunt/mother (one who held the same burden he did, and didn't want to kill him). And Kushina had found the reason why Suna was weakened.

Naruto couldn't wait for the Chunin exams, because this year they would be held in Suna, which meant he could see Gaara again if Anko allowed it.


	7. Chapter 7

Kushina had her clones drag out a _MASSIVE_ grill while the elves prepared the meat. Sasuke had agreed to light the fire (in a small way, since she didn't want to burn the meat) so long as there was plenty of ketchup in the house.

It had been three weeks since they had gone to Suna, and this was the first free night she had off in a month. To her surprise, the repercussions of having Naruto befriend Gaara had become rather apparent, because every time there was a mission to trade plants or even come to Konoha, it was always Gaara's team who came.

Temari and Kankuro (the two siblings who were still in shock over the change in Gaara's personality) had known better than to argue over the sudden interest in the Leaf.

Baki was just hoping Gaara didn't defect, because then the Kazekage would have his head on a platter for losing the Ichibi to Konoha on top of over half the missions.

Fortunately for him, Kushina treated him like a second son (and by extension Temari and Kankuro) and mostly gave them a place to crash. If Gaara ever went rogue, he would always have a place to hide with her.

Too bad Kushina was village bound the second Minato learned she was pregnant again. She wasn't showing yet (she was only along by five months) but he attributed that to the fact that she had learned a few genjutsu tricks from Tsunade.

They weren't about to have a repeat, and the Kyuubi had already stated rather flatly that if the Uchiha bastard who set him loose before came back, he was going to eviscerate him in the messiest way possible before returning to Kushina.

For some odd reason he liked the red head, particularly when she set him on the old goat who dragged her from that battlefield and away from her son. Plus the fact was that she let him play with people as long as she got the answers she wanted.

Kushina was the third ranking best Interrogator in Konoha, right up there with Ibiki and Anko. She could have run the entire place had she not wanted to spend more time with her son and was currently acting as diplomat to any nation Minato sent her to.

When she heard someone knock on the gate, she looked outside and yelled "Come in!"

Neji appeared carrying a large amount of meat followed by Tenten who carried the vegetables. The two practically lived with Kushina and always ate breakfast in the mornings since her month long hell with Gai.

Hinata came downstairs (she lived with Kushina once the woman made it clear that she wouldn't tolerate abuse of children to Hiashi) carrying the spare plates.

Naruto came rushing in carrying the torches, since most of the food would be served at night. He also had a large scroll fill with fireworks that Kushina had given him, and she said he could set them off later.

One by one those invited filed in. Sirius came with his new wife Anko (they had married right after Kushina came back from Suna, and she had been the one to stand beside Anko), Remus came in with Tsume, Kiba and Hana (Tsume was already showing signs of her new child), Chouji came in with his parents, and Sasuke showed up carrying the music.

Recently a large number of muggleborns had come into the village and they had brought radios and new TVs with them. While the shinobi did have TVs, they were so bulky that it required chunin like strength just to pick them up, and they still used VHS format.

The newest fad to hit Konoha was the DVD, and it was already a hit. This included a lot of movies that had previously not been seen.

Iruka and Hermione were the last to arrive, and behind them was an ecstatic Yugito who had come to trade with Kushina for some more silencing seals. It took Killer B a month to get them off, and during that time there was a blissful lack of rap music coming from him.

It was the main reason why Kumo even considered opening a trade agreement with Konoha. Minato sometimes joked that the Raikage was trying to kidnap his wife again by courting her. It amused Kushina so she let the joke go.

There was a knock on the gate, and Kushina went to the front. To her amusement, Gaara had apparently gotten another mission to trade plants with Konoha. Considering each time he got plants used in medicine that were normally expensive for Suna to get, the council couldn't complain.

Every guest brought a covered dish, though Gaara's clearly had come from the store.

"Sasuke, would you do the honors?" she asked with a grin.

Sasuke's hands flew through the signs, and he created a small fireball to light the grill. Kushina waited a few minutes before she added the seasoned meat, and soon the air filled with delicious smells. Chouza offered to keep an eye on the meat for her while she got the rest of the dinner ready. He didn't know about the house elves preparing the food.

Kushina had a few of the genin help her bring the food out, and soon everyone was enjoying themselves.

Well, except for Neji because he kept glaring at Yugito...up until the point when Kushina informed him of her shinobi partner Killer B, who was the Kumo equivalent of his sensei. After that the two traded horror stories about the insane ninja they were stuck dealing with...at a safe distance of course.

Halfway through the dinner, Naruto went upstairs to get his fireworks.

Kushina smirked as she heard her son, Sasuke and Gaara arguing over which one to set off first. Eventually they came to an agreement and she warned the other guests.

When the first boom went off, everyone enjoyed the spectacle. Naruto held out the firework, Gaara steadied it with his sand, and Sasuke set it off. When the box was empty Sasuke threw up an explosive tag modified for the event, and it set off the evening with a good bang.

Minato felt sorry for their neighbors, because they were rather twitchy with having Kushina around. Then again they were some of the worst hit.

All in all, it was a rather pleasant night.

* * *

"Come on! Why can't we go to the chunin exams?"

Anko glared at him.

"One, because I heard a rumor my old teacher was there. Two, the next exam will be in Konoha. And three, we have a back log in the Interrogation department and this is the perfect time to get your training done while the other two improve their skills. Besides, this way you have a chance to totally kick the other genin's asses in a fight!"

"What's Orochimaru doin' in Suna?" asked Naruto.

"No idea, but probably capitalizing on the fact they have problems with Konoha getting over half their missions. Luckily because of your friendship with the tanuki brat, they won't bother trying to use him against us," said Anko.

"Does this mean I can bring Gaara into a game of poker during the next exams?"

"Only if you don't bet anything that would get me into trouble," said Anko immediately.

Naruto cackled, because he had a whole slew of things to bet that wouldn't get Anko in trouble with his parents. The council learned rather quickly that any complaints against Naruto had to be legitimate ones, and not related to the Kyuubi in any way, shape or form.

Otherwise Kushina got involved, and then all hell would break loose. The fact she was open about having the other half of the Kyuubi meant anyone stupid enough to keep seeing her son as the fox itself meant they had to do the same for her, which was damn near impossible.

* * *

"Hello, my name is Uzumaki Naruto and I will be your torturer this evening!" said Naruto with a cackle. He had learned it from his mother when she was being extra devious and Anko had perfected it saying it was the best insane cackle she had heard in years.

Apparently she very much enjoyed the sight of an Iwa nin wetting his pants in fear when he heard it.

Well, either that or the guy knew that Naruto was the son of the same Fourth Hokage who beat the crap out of them during the last great war. It was a toss up.

Kushina and Anko watched Naruto break out his new toys, which they had been teaching him how to use between missions. Hinata was out with Tsunade learning medical jutsu, and Chouji was working with Shizune on poisons. Kushina had recognized the use of poisons in an Akimichi could be very unusual, so she decided to capitalize on it.

Who knew what sort of damage an Akimichi could cause with their expansion jutsu and a poisonous skin? The very idea made Anko salivate. Fortunately for the rather large boy, Kushina had put her foot down on experiments with snake poison until Chouji could toughen up a bit and had a decent amount of immunity to most poisons built up.

"The baby fox appears to be doing just fine on his first time," said Anko grinning.

Kushina grinned.

"I know. Dango?"

"Don't mind if I do!"

Both women munched on the dango Kushina brought with her as the familiar sound of screams filled the air. Kushina only looked back when the sound changed a little.

"What the hell is he doing?" she asked.

Anko turned back, took one look at what Naruto was doing, and started howling with amusement.

Naruto was threatening to force feed the old milk that he once had to survive on down the throat of his victim. Considering how rank it smelt, it had gone bad months ago.

The senior scribe was jotting down everything the man knew as fast as the words could come out. Naruto was a very..._effective_...interrogator.

* * *

Tsunade watched as Hinata used her chakra to heal the rabbit. The girl had practically breezed through the fish exercise to mammals. Hiashi wasn't happy, but considering the council had given custody of Hinata to Kushina, there was very little he could do about it.

Nearby Chouji was working with Shizune in mixing liquid poisons to use on his kunai. Since he was an Akimichi, he had a very good idea of poisons used in food. Chouza was very happy with the fact his son had found his specialty, since Chouji had always been a bit of an outcast because of his weight. It was a common problem for all the young in their clan. Chouza was just glad his son had found a team he could rely on that had never once taunted him about his weight.

It was good to see young Chouji grow into his own with the outspoken Naruto and the timid Hinata.

* * *

Kushina was grinning evilly as she prepared to throw the ball. She had enlisted the Sand trio, Gai's team, and most of the newly graduated genin and a few others to play a pick up game of baseball. According to her, even if they were genin, that was no excuse for them to act like adults all the time, hence why she decided to bring Outside sports to Konoha, with Hermione acting as the referee. She was the only one who had all the rules memorized.

She braced herself...and the let the ball fly. Kankuro was naturally wary of the almost ballistic missile quality of the ball (the bats had to be reinforced, since there was no way in hell a normal bat could handle that much force without being bent or broken) right up until the point where he slammed into it and sent it fly past Tenten.

Minato was amused that the game was girls versus boys, with Naruto leading the boys against his mother. Where Kushina found enough kunoichi to play was beyond him. Either way, Sakura had offered to catch the ball, which was odd considering she didn't really have the hand and arm strength to handle that kind of force.

"Foul!" cried Hermione. Iruka was right next to her doing a quick read on the Outside games while she did the announcing. Kakashi had managed to get out of being on Naruto's team by acting as the scoreboard manager.

Gai was in charge of insuring no one daring spiked the drinks...the last thing Kushina wanted was a rampaging Lee.

Kushina threw again. Kankuro was able to hit it, but once again it was a foul. The third ball was a strike that nearly nailed Chouji...had he not used his expansion jutsu to block the hit with a solid layer of fat.

The only rule that Kushina had been firm about was no destructive jutsu allowed. They were ninja. Chances were that they would cheat anyway, so why not have fun with it?

Needless to say the girls were less than pleased that Naruto insisted on backing his pitches with wind composition chakra to give them an extra kick. Still, it did have the interesting effect of directing most of the hits right back at him, usually at his head.

Gaara was up next. To Kankuro's annoyance, his younger brother found it ridiculously easy to get a home run, thus allowing the two others on the first and third base a chance to go to home plate without worry. Naruto gave Gaara a thumbs up.

"The boys team leads with a two point advantage. Can Kushina-sensei send the boy's out or will they continue to lead?" said Hermione grinning.

"OI! DON'T DOUBT THE RED HABENARO!"shouted Kushina at the announcer's booth. That caused a round of chuckles to erupt from the stands, since they were using the Chunin Exam stadium for this game. A few off duty shinobi and some civilians who had heard what was going on were watching from the stands.

Minato was already planning to make this an official event so the place would get more use than just the third round of the Chunin Exams. Plus it was an easy way to get his shinobi to relax with some competitive fun without any thought of killing others.

Plus it also helped their image with the civilians, who could see the shinobi playing without having to worry about any collateral damage.

Minato watched with interest as his wife sent the boys packing, only for Naruto to come up with a last minute win for their team because his bat slipped and caused a home run with all the bases loaded.

By that time the stadium was nearly packed, and the crowd was thoroughly enjoying the game.

Hermione made a quick ryo by selling rule books for all the games she had memorized.


End file.
